Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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