Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
