i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
