i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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