I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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