uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
