morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
