After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
this will be a night to untag.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
