this beer tastes like vomit already
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
