How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
