Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
