i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
