dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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