you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
