Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
