Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize