Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
