Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
