I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Sext me about skeletons
false alarm, still single
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
