he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
she told me i tasted like america
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
