We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize
