we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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