I threw up into my coffee this morning.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Randomize
