So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
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