god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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