so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
