wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Randomize
