It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
