Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
