So drunk, too bad you don't want this
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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