do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
