Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
