I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
