You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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