an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
dude. I can hear the air.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize