I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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