okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
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