trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize