I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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