hell yes lets make some ravioli
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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