I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
