Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize