Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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