I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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