Yo dont text me then not text me
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
