the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
