My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
