I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
In America we eat man semen.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
