Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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