p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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