i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
