I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Fuck me I smell like cheese
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
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