I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
