It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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