hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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