he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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