my being single is dangerous.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
A+ Viking dick
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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