So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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