Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
