i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
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