just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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