Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Randomize
