I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
