my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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