She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
What a dumb baby whore.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
