Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
