there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
