Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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