no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Panties = found
Randomize
