i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
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