me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
