he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
